Financial Awakenings

I've been reading other personal finance blogs and I like to read the "about me" section to get a feel of how much debt they have, or what other financial problems they're dealing with. What I see a lot is that people have "financial awakenings," where they one day wake up and realize I can't do this anymore. Like Louise at Eliminate My Debt or Krystal over at Give Me Back My Five Bucks. Even my beloved DebtKid had a financial awakening.

So, I wonder, when was my financial awakening? I don't think I have one. Or maybe, my financial awakening happened in a different way.

When I was about eight years old, my dad gave me a dollar. Instead of saving it, I ended up buying a pencil and eraser with it. Later that day, my dad asked me where my dollar was, and I showed him the pencil and eraser instead. He had such disappointment on his face that I couldn't keep that dollar for even one day--and the guilt I had over disappointing my father has never left me. In fact, I feel the exact same guilt whenever I spend money. Spending money or losing it doesn't matter much to me, but disappointing my dad means a lot to me, so I've always been rather concious about it.

The other reason why I've been so obssessed with paying for school is because of my dad's hardships. Before we immigrated to Canada, he ran a successful business and had tons of assets. He decided to sell all of those so that he could raise me in Canada and make sure I got a proper education and upbringing. Because my dad never even graduated from high school, he had a hard time getting a decent job over here. It doesn't matter that he successfully managed his own business overseas because that's just not recognized over here when you have to leave the "education" part of any job application blank. My dad is actually a senior citizen now, but he continues to work everyday, waiting for me to graduate so I can support him. I feel that being financially responsible so I can support my parents after graduating is the least I can do for all they have done for me--selling all of their assets and moving to a new country to start over in their forties must have been daunting. I had secretly hoped that paying for school by myself would allow my dad to retire sooner, but he told me he can't until I bring home money.

I guess I didn't have financial awakenings because I always remembered, in the back of my head, what my dad's done for me and I'll always be thankful for that.