I haven't been on this blog in awhile because I thought my computer was fried--only to find out that I had kicked the power cord out of its socket. I only realized this after I was panicking about how I was going to pay for a new computer. Oops!
Anyways, I've been meaning to get around to the story behind why I am going to support my parents through their retirement. And it goes something like this.
When my dad was young, he left school to support his own mother, who didn't have much money either. Without an education, my dad was forced into trade labour that didn't pay that much. However, he and my mom managed to start their own business. It thrived, and by the time I was born, my dad had to travel the world a lot to conduct business. He made a lot of money that way and I had the best of everything--private school and expensive clothes and nice toys.
The problem with the business was that my dad was gone for months at a time. My mom became a stay at home mom who was raising us on her own for several months out of the year. My dad was uncomfortable leaving my mom to do that all alone, and he missed developing a relationship with us kids. The nature of the business was so that he had to be gone for long periods of time, or the business would fall apart.
He was faced with a dilemma--be rich but miss out on the kids, or be financially insecure but watch his kids grow up.
My dad decided that fostering a relationship with his children was more important than any money--which I think he learned because his own dad chose business over him. But without a good education, my dad couldn't get well paying jobs. People didn't want to hire him cause of his lack of education. Our family's income drastically declined to the point where my parents were in debt.
I've always had this sort of guilt or conciousness growing up that my parents would be rich and well off if they hadn't decided that I was more important than money. Many of their most costly decisions had to do with me--like moving to certain places so I could go to the best schools they could find and afford. (Although, go figure, they couldn't afford my university education. But I was determined to pay for it myself anyway.)
The reason why I want to support my parents through their retirement is pretty obvious. They spent so much money so that I could have the best. My dad gave up his thriving business because he felt it was more important to watch me grow up and be around everyday.
It would be way too selfish of me not to give my parents money every month to support them through their retirement. I would hate for them to be 80 years old and decide they can't eat their favourite food that night because they don't have enough money. If there's anything I can do to make my parents' golden years more enjoyable, then why shouldn't I be doing it?
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6 comments:
What a wonderful post. I feel the same way about my mom who raised 3 kids by herself after my dad died. It's a nice way for us kids to give back. Actually, it's the moral thing to do.
Thanks for this post! I was quite curious at first when you had mentioned you were helping your parents because my family is the reverse, at least financially. Parents helping children I mean. But only financially, in many other ways I realized the kids have supported their parents. My grandmother lived right next door to us when I grew up- and in this way my parents helped her so much because she had family around all the time. Whatever help children and parents need, when they need it, I think that is what family is for.
How do you plan on supporting your parents during retirement? I think it's a valiant goal. How much money will they require every month? Will you live with your parents to keep costs down?
I think your goal is wonderful. Supporting your parents is the right thing to do. Always. However, I don't understand why you should feel guilty about your parents not being rich. They had a choice. Your dad chose you over being rich. That is what made him happy. I don't think your dad did it to make you feel guilty so that you would support them in their old-age. It is the right thing to do to help your parents when they need it. But please don't do it out of guilt. To my way of thinking, you would be belittling your parents' sacrifices for you as well as your sacrifices for your parents.
hi, i just came across your blog - and i absolutely love that you feel this way! How wonderful!
- S
This is indeed inspiring for those who really want to give the best to their parents. Love is supposed to be a give-and-take thing. It's supposed to be mutual. Your parents worked hard in raising you up, and you should return the favor by supporting them. You, sir, deserve a pat on the back.
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